So this is it guys! This is my first time doing this in public, airing my simple thoughts on the internet. Well, My names are Caren Leonard and I struggle with FEAR! It’s my bestie bestie! It’s stupid, it’s not real and it does not exist.
This being a thing of mine I then decided to acknowledge it and here I am writing my cents about what I think “we” should do. And on asking a lot of people what holds them back when it comes to their careers, relationships, starting a business, moving out from their parents house, moving out of unhealthy jobs the answer is FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of what others will say or think of them, fear of rejection. Mannn!!! The sequence is endless.
When fear dominates your mind, it cripples you. It makes you small , like terribly small. Fear makes you believe your work, your existence isn’t all that, it’s shit! And your beautiful/handsome self stops making progress and being as a creative as you intend to be.
The bad and good news is, fear will always accompany you, “utaishi nayo” it lives with you. And to be honest we need it. We need it to survive in some decisions we make in our lives.
This year I decided to start reading again after over 5 years, 5 yearsss! Due to campus life, being occupied to not occupied (you get what I mean lol). So I got recommended a few books with friends here and there and these two are part of my favorites. “Who moved my Cheese written by Spenser Johnson and Big Magic written by Elizabeth Gilbert you will find a whole topic on fear and things that affect it mostly being our egos.
The author, Elizabeth Gilbert has great insights on how she deals with fear as a creative and a writer. She acknowledges that fear isn’t going anywhere so instead, she makes strict rules on how fear cannot control her creative journey. (I love that lady , she’s amazing!). Please read the books if you have not xx.
In this article, I tried listing some of the tips on ways that you can gain strength to really battle your fears when it comes to your life.
~~Taking control/being in control.
One way that fear is able to stop you is by reminding you of what you lack or being not enough to get things done. It makes you hyper aware of the skills you haven’t mastered, the work you’re not experienced in yet and the promotion you don’t qualify for.
When presented with a new opportunity, your first instinct is to doubt and end up saying NO. And start making excuses with thoughts like, ‘ I don’t know how it’s done’, ‘I’m not experienced’, and ‘I will only let them down’. You forget the old advice of ‘saying yes’ only to figure it out later that you choose to say no.
Consistent learning is one way to beat your fears. Consider it as investing in your own self improvement, this will help you stay ready for success. Sharpening and improving your skills is as simple as using the internet wisely that is watching helpful content to reading books.
Having in mind that you can always learn a new skill and find new ideas that will boost your confidence to say YES! YES! YES! to new adventures and any adversity in life!
~~ There is nothing like judgment from someone you trust when faced by fear in your life. Be it your friends, family or mentor.
Finding a mentor means having someone who has gone before you to guide you. You can run your ideas by them for guidance, and in turn this helps in building your confidence in your ideas.
Social media such as Twitter, Instagram is a great way to expand your network by reaching out to people in your field, or people winning in what you’re interested in pursuing.
You will be surprised on how fear gets to even the best of the best, but they still do it despite the fear.
~~Surround yourself with positive people. From family to friends in general. Trust me! Sometimes our families are not the best people, they may be a little toxic to our progress in this life. Kindly just remember that you are the average of the people you surround yourself mostly with and sometimes be your greatest cheerleader!
Surround yourself with people who remind you of your wins even if they are small, when your fear is too loud. They magnify your skills and abilities instead of your inadequacies.
If your tribe only talks on what they can’t do and feeds your fears, the friendship probably isn’t for you. They will always be projecting their fears onto you and hold you back from saying yes to new opportunities.
After saying all this just remember the goal is to still do it with all the enthusiasm no matter what! NO MATTER WHAT!
So, what would you do if you had no fear?